Dancing with Mary Jane

April 20, 2010


Death, PLR, 10/1995

When you smoke pot, it’s the end of innocence. Marijuana is like the tree of good and evil. It reveals things hidden, but they come with great consequence. It slows things down, gives you time to ponder, and your mind opens up into green fields and pastureland. For most of that night, you can actually perceive peace on earth. That is why it gives anxious people headaches, because idle time scares them.

But even on your first hit, as soon as you draw the smoke into your body, you can feel the claws grip around your soul. The smileyface façade of happiness is so strong you can easily ignore the claws, but they are there. Sharp, boney, little fingers grab a hold; at each hit they tighten their grip. The more smoke you draw into your lungs, the deeper the demon draws into your soul.

There is nothing else to say. I was taken captive. I was so much in love with pain. Weeping and gnashing of teeth? Sometimes I wonder if Jesus will just eventually take away all the real Christians and leave the rest of humanity on earth alone to fend for themselves. That would be hell. It’s not that I can’t imagine a worse place than earth at its worst; I just haven’t dared.

Who am I to tell someone to quit smoking weed? When the Lord invited me into His kingdom, He said I had to quit getting stoned. I said yes. I probably didn’t even mean it or understand what I was committing to, but because I was willing to quit in that moment, because in that moment I discovered Forever and wanted to serve Him, He rebuked the demon out of me. I was spared the struggle of addiction. I haven’t had anything more than a simple temptation since. I am free from that bondage.

You say pot opens up your mind? So did the fruit that Adam bit into. We’ve been paying for that one ever since. So in your worldly views, I have no reason to tell you that pot is bad. For me, I just know that Jesus doesn’t like it. I just know that what is best in you begins with your innocence—and with pot you lose it. What kind of paradise leaves you burnt out? Your prophets have all died before their time, and still you set up shrines for them and follow their grave mistakes. What kind of shepherd leads his flock off a cliff? My paradise lasts forever, my Prophet rose from the dead, and He is my shepherd. He tends to my wounds. When I am lost, He seeks to find me, and when He does, He rejoices and throws a banquet in my honor! He is looking for you and He longs to throw just as big a party for you, if you will let yourself be found by Him. You like to party? You ain’t seen nothing yet.

Sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll. You can have the later without being corrupted and corroded by the first two. My spirit weeps and mourns when I see you wasting away. My soul is in bitter anguish when I think of all the potential that is stunted inside of you. I still remember your pain and why you try to cover it up. Your life has meaning. Give your burdens to Him. He loves you.

Peter L Richardson
October, 1994


9 Responses to “Dancing with Mary Jane”

  1. Paul Says:

    well written Pete, I have family members that still do. The all consuming addiction of too much even tapered to be a reward will still have a humanly price before each meets the fork of the after-life.

    • peterrock12 Says:

      Too true, Paul. Our addictions only make our self-deceptions even harder to recognize. Thanks for sharing!

  2. Robin Says:

    That is a wonderful description. It rights into the heart of the matter. May the Lord bless you and take care of you.

    • Robin Says:

      Mean to say that it gets right to the heart of the matter.

      • peterrock12 Says:

        Thanks, Robin. I think for Christians the bottom line with anything is simply: does it please Jesus? If not, we probably shouldn’t be doing it, but unfortunately life is not always so cut and dry. We need to always consider the consequences–long and short term–of what we do.

  3. Em Says:

    Thanks for writing this. I think it speaks clearly about a variety of addictions, including but not limited to pot…

  4. peterrock12 Says:

    Thanks for reading, Em. I agree. While the Lord blessed me with a quick release from the desire for weed, I haven’t escaped the human condition to desire self-destructive behaviors in other areas. We need to learn to give it all to Jesus: He whom the Son sets free is free indeed!

  5. Kim Walker Says:

    This is an oversimplification, but could I suggest that there seems to be two roots of addictions: one that forms from being in an overwhelming circumstance with no outs, and people choose an addiction to literally survive and cope. The second seems to be our quest for pleasure and escape from the negatives in life/relationships. I, like most humans, have had both. The first kind takes time for God to heal and change emotional damage or abuse, which allows the addiction to slowly drop. The second can be removed instantly (healing), or turned from with heavy temptation and struggle, or slow replacement with a healthier alternative, addressing the underlying need/problem. I have found that both types need total surrender to God and His help, something acknowledged in all 12 step programs. I do love the quote, “If you don’t take care of your body, where else are you going to live?” The largest blessing, worth more than any material object or ambition, is to be comfortable living in your own confines….no running needed. And I suppose blessing number two, is to come to terms with your own imperfections and flaws, have a bit of humor, and know that God is fully aware of all that you are, and are not, and loves you desperately, anyway. 🙂

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