The Lord of the Rings: REUNION OF THE FELLOWSHIP.

December 23, 2010

What happens after Man takes the rule over Middle Earth…

(Note: This is a project I had to do for a linguistics class years ago. I’ve been too busy to write any new work, so I’ve been digging into past works. This is just for fun!)

It is twenty years later. The kingdom of Mordor has fallen and peace has settled upon the dwellers of Middle Earth. The Elves have moved on and man has become the protectors and peacekeepers for all who make their home in Middle Earth. The Hobbits live their simple lives in the Shire and the Dwarves continue to mine the earth for gems of all kinds. There is a freedom for persons of every kind  to move about Middle Earth without prejudice or conflict. Each year delegates from every major dwelling of every kind travel to Gondor and make council with Lord Aragon. On this twentieth anniversary of the crowning of the king, the Fellowship of the Ring have returned to Gondor for a reunion. They are meeting at an establishment that Aragon feels will revolutionize the lives of all the inhabitants of Middle Earth. Frodo and his companions are the first to arrive…

     “Welcome to McDoundles of Gondor, can I tayk yah ohder?”
     “We do not wish to order anyone around, we have come for some food. My companions and I have traveled a great distance and we are famished. Lord Aragon sent word that we would find nourishment here.”
     “That’s the ideya. Whadiyawon?”
     “I’m not sure…it’s been a long time since I’ve eaten man’s bread. This food looks strange to me. Sam, what do you suggest?”
     “I dunno, Mr. Frodo, it all looks good t’me!”
     “Than we shall have it all. We shall order you to give us each one of your…what do you call them?”
     “Valya Meals?”
     “Yes. We shall try each one. We are famished, we were unable to eat second breakfast.”
     “Whateva. I need a couple of evry valya meal here, please.”
     “No! No! Smeagle no wants mansbread! Smeagle wants ‘is precious, Smeagle wants it raw Master!”
     “Oh my Gawd! Ya caynt bring ya pet in heah! Youse gotta leave it outsiyd!”
     “I am bound to this creature and he to me! Without Smeagle’s help you would be taking orders from the Lord Sarun, and they wouldn’t involve food!”
     “Now, now, Mr. Frodo. There’s no need to be causin’ a ruckus! Perhaps we should do what she wants-”
     “No Sam. I owe Smeagle my life, the least I could do is to make sure he is fed.” Frodo suddenly drawing his sword on the counterperson exclaims, “Do you know who this is? This is Sting and I will cut your throat if you do not obey-”
     “Mr. Frodo! No!”
     “I don’t think that will be necessary, Frodo Baggins.”
     “Gandalf! You’re here!”
     “Yes. I am here. Just at the right time it seems. I see that you Hobbits still cannot leave the Shire without being the cause of some kind of trouble.”
     “Its not that, Gandalf, it’s the Ring, ever since our journey, I’ve been restless and irritable.”
     “I can vouch for that Mr. Gandalf!”
     “I’m sure you can Samwise. Frodo, the ring is now destroyed, you must work to put yourself to rest, you of all creatures know its power, but you are now free from its grasp, now is a time for celebration-”
     “And so we shall celebrate, in all the splendor of Gondor!”
     “Aragon!”
     “How are you, my friends? It is an honor to dine with those who brought peace to Middle Earth once again. I am sorry I am late, there were some diplomatic matters to attend to. I trust you have been well received?”
     “As a matter of fact, no. This young lady here-”
     “Man, whoya callin’ young, punk? I’m almost sixteen, Ile be drivin’ soon!”
     “Sister of Gondor, do you know who I am?”
     “I done care if youse da King! I ain’t servin’ no rawl meat ta no dawg.”
     “My lady, you are now speaking with Aragon; Lord of Gondor, protector of Middle Earth and founder of this establishment.”
     “Uh-oh.”
     “Yes, I think it shall be necessary for you to call upon your manager.”
     “Yessir.”
     “Founder?” Gandalf remarks in wonder, “Aragon, are you sure of the wisdom of this endeavor?”
     “Of course, Gandalf, I have helped to establish these food stops in honor of our fellowship. Last year a man had come to my council, very strangely dressed, he was dressed in yellow and red and wore his face white as the moon with very large red lips, as red as his hair. He presented this idea of ‘fast food‘ and it seemed right to me so I have a great plan to establish many more across all of Middle Earth.”
     “Aragon, I would expect you should be more wary than this. Just because the Ring is destroyed does not mean that there are no forces left in Middle Earth, who would rather see your kingdom destroyed.”
     “Such is the point, Gandalf, I have often traveled many suns and moons tracking Orc with no time allowed for nourishment, with these fast food stops, creatures of all kinds will have quick and easy access to nourishment with very little cost to them. And there is the food of every kind of group we have in Middle Earth; hobbit, dwarf, elvish and man-”
     “McElfbread? The picture has a likeness, but if that is elvish food, I am no elf.”
     “Legolis and Gimli, my friends! You are late.”
     “Hurgh! Late? Then what we all doin’ standin’ around yappin’ for? I did not travel half way ackrost Middle Earth only to talk! Master Elf, could you do me the pleasure of repeatin’ the menu fer me? I couldn’t care if it were Orc meat right now, it’s time for us to eat!”
     “Mr. Frodo?”
     “(sigh) Yes, Sam.”
     “I don’t know why they be callin’ this food fast, we been nearly twenty minutes here and ain’t had a bite yet. Mr. Frodo, when it comes to savin’ the world and all that, I think that men and wizards and elves may know better, but when it comes to eatin’ I’d say we hobbits are the bestest.”
     “Oh Sam, I agree. Do you think Mary and Pippin are coming?”
     “I dunno, Mr. Frodo, I dunno.”
     “Master! We’s hungry! Smeagle donts needs ‘is precious! Smeagle jus wonts ‘is dinner!” 

HOW I MADE THIS UP:

I confess, I tried to follow the natural speech patterns from the characters in the movie that I heard in my head and adjusted the dialogue from there. I wanted to include as many characters as possible and I wanted this to be something outside of the book. I couldn’t think of anything interesting to have them say so I decided to go with the comedic aspect using the McDonalds reference. I changed the spelling because I noticed that Tolkien had taken many things from our world and included them in Middle Earth by simply changing the spelling a bit. I also tried to show word pronunciation by changing the spelling, so if you sound out the misspelled words, you should be able to know what they are saying and the type of person who is saying them.

I tried to mark these characters as different “races” by using different dialects among them. I’m not sure if I succeeded so well on this, but you should be able to see the difference between Gimli and Sam’s dialects. I tried to give them both a “backwoods” sounding speech, but Gimli’s is more American, while Sam’s is more English (at least in my head). I used the idea of registers to identify who is speaking and where they come from. The “McDoundles” worker is supposed to be a lower class female from New York. I just dropped a lot of [r] sounds, for the most part. The idea was to identify Gondor with New York City to make it seem to have become more commercialized since mankind has been peacefully in charge of Middle Earth. I tried to show Sam’s background as laborer/gardener with his speech and I tried to make Frodo sound like he was an educated middle class hobbit. He spoke nearly as well as Gandalf and Aragon, but I used sentence structure and more unusual or sophisticated word choice for a wizard and a king. Among those two I tried to use words that I associate with wisdom for Gandalf and words that I associate with diplomacy for Aragon. I am most ashamed of who I turned Aragon into for this little project, he is a very awesome character in Tolkien’s books. I gave Legolis one well spoken line, since elves are supposed to be the on the high end of social class in Middle Earth, and Gimli was supposed to sound as like a mountain man, since the dwarves dwell in the mountains. Smeagle, or Gollum, I thought sounded like someone who was mentally challenged or as a very young child, so I tried to convey this in his speech. I know he died in the book, but I decided to bring him into this for fun and to present him with a lighter side. 

This was a fun and challenging project for me; someday I hope to write fiction of my own. This class and this project has given me some techniques to consider that will help me distinguish my characters and make them more real. I hope I have achieved that with this dialogue, but I’m sure there is much room for improvement.

Peter L Richardson
12/15/2003

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One Response to “The Lord of the Rings: REUNION OF THE FELLOWSHIP.”

  1. Santi Says:

    nice post…
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    thanks


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